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The Place for Connection
Welcome to The Place for Connection, where I believe that connection is the CURE – the podcast where soul meets science, and healing takes centre stage.
Hosted by psychologist, breathwork practitioner, and all-around vibe curator, Melissa Beaton, this podcast dives deep into the art and science of connection – to yourself, your community, and the big beautiful world around you.
Each episode is a juicy mix of expert wisdom and heartfelt stories from healers of ALL kinds: psychologists, bodyworkers, doulas, yogis, spiritual guides, and even the ones who heal with music, art, and a bit of magic. We’re here to inspire, uplift, and get real about what it takes to live a connected, purpose-driven life.
This isn’t your average self-help podcast. It’s a space where radical authenticity meets practical tools, where curiosity replaces judgment, and where the real work feels less like a chore and more like a calling.
Why listen?
Because you’ll leave every episode feeling seen, heard, and ready to take the next step in your own healing journey. Whether you’re a professional, a healer, someone seeking growth, or just here for the good vibes – this is the place for you.
Want to work with Melissa?
Reach out via the website contact page at www.zensohouse.com or instagram @zensohouse
The Place for Connection
Tantra Isn’t What You Think—Rita Anaiê on Healing & Liberation
What if the key to deep healing isn’t in your mind, but in your body? 🤯
In this episode of The Place for Connection, I sit down with Rita Anaiê of Chrysalis Tantra, a tantric and body shaman who walked away from a corporate career in architecture after receiving unexpected spiritual guidance. Through Tantra, she discovered a path to embodied healing, self-liberation, and deep transformation—and now she’s here to share it with you.
🔥 What you'll learn in this episode:
✨ What Tantra really is (hint: it’s not just about intimacy)
🌿 How trauma is stored in the body—and how to release it
🧘♀️ Why most of us are dissociated from our bodies (and how to reconnect)
⚡ The power of self-responsibility in breaking old patterns
💫 How mindful touch, rituals, and shadow work fuel spiritual growth
💡 Why we don’t manifest what we want—we manifest who we are
Plus, Rita shares how she healed chronic UTIs through tantric practices, proving that true healing happens from the inside out.
This conversation is for anyone ready to break free from stored trauma, reconnect with their body, and step into radical self-acceptance and transformation.
✨ Hit play and let’s dive in! ✨
🔔 Loved this episode? Don’t forget to:
✔️ Follow & Subscribe to The Place for Connection so you never miss an episode!
⭐ Leave a review—it helps more people find these conversations!
📲 Follow @zensohouse for more deep healing & embodiment insights!
📢 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!
🚀 Want to explore Rita's work?
Visit www.chrysalistantra.com to connect with her and see if you’re a good fit for her transformational offerings.
Hello and welcome to the Place for Connection podcast. I'm Mel Beaton, psychologist, istdp, therapist and supervisor, and today I'm joined by the amazing Rita Anaya from Chrysalis Chrysalis, chrysalis oh my goodness. Tantra Rita is a tantric and body shaman. She's a medicine woman and a shadow worker and a weaver of new possibilities, and I've been super lucky to get to work one-on-one with Rita. She's a brilliant human and she has so much to teach us all. So, rita, how about we start with you, giving the audience just a bit of a, I guess, introduction to you, what you do and what brought you on this journey?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, mel, I would like to say a big thank you for having me here, truly honored and happy to have the opportunity of having one more conversation with you, one more conversation with you. And yeah, despite of being studying spirituality since I was very little, since I was 12, I never really thought that this would be my main path. I was in the construction business, in the corporate world, working as an architect, interior designer and building biologist, which was the more holistic seasoning of that.
Speaker 2:And I was literally about a month from signing the contract for the rebranding of my design business when I started receiving spiritual guidance. Wow, that I should, yeah, change career. And yeah, that was a bit surprising, I must say I can imagine At the beginning yeah, beginning, because I feel truly blessed to.
Speaker 2:Like some people, they have their whole lives trying to find out what their purpose is and I was blessed enough to have two, so I was super happy working as a designer, had all these plans, and then Mary Magdalene was the one together with Isis that came and delivered the message not fully.
Speaker 2:I resisted quite a bit at the beginning. I didn't do anything that they were telling me to do, and then there was a moment when things started to get a bit pushy. I received another spiritual mentor that was giving me very strict guidelines and I was having these long conversations with him asking questions to why all these and why I did receive guidance to merge my design business and I was ready to rebrand, and the explanations were really clear and when I surrendered and started to follow the guidance, so much was unfolding in my life and now being where I am at doing what I do, I can tell you I could never imagine that I could be so happy and so fulfilled with what I do.
Speaker 2:I do it from my heart and soul and feel very honored and humbled to serve like this.
Speaker 1:As someone who's engaged with you in a shamanic meditation, you know the level of deliberate thought and planning that you put into my experience, you know, was very clear, and I think this is probably how you just operate in your life, right, With this deliberate intent and clarity. I'm wondering for the audience you know, perhaps, who hasn't engaged with Tantra or shamanic meditations or even shadow work. Right, would you be able to, I guess, introduce the audience to what Tantra is and maybe also what it isn't?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, sure of what it isn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, before starting to work with Tantra, I was practicing in my personal life, mainly only with myself, white Tantra, taoist exercises for about eight years, and a lot of people relate Tantra only with sex right, because it's what sells better. But tantra goes way, way beyond sex and there are also many different lineages of tantra. You have the Indian classic tantra, you have the Taoist tantra, you have Egyptian tantra. You have different lineages. So what I'm going to talk about is my individual vision, based on not only my studies but also my personal experiences with this consciousness right, with this consciousness right. So tantra. The meaning of the word tantra is expansion and liberation, so pretty much the path for expansion and liberation, which can mean different things depending on the person, where you are at in life. During a shamanic meditation, I was put in touch directly with the consciousness of Tantra for the whole journey.
Speaker 2:I wasn't expecting that at all, and at the beginning of the journey I was said well, you are always asking for real Tantra masters in alignment with what you want. So today I'm going to put you in touch with the consciousness of Tantra. Wow, and during the journey I was receiving the constant message that life is a ceremony, every act is a ritual, you are the miracle, and that Tantra is the path of deep acceptance, full self-responsibility and ultimate freedom. So this is very much where my work in Tantra and also in shamanism is based.
Speaker 2:The deep acceptance comes from a place of understanding that absolutely everything that happened in your life was perfect, was perfect the universe, god, great spirit, as you want to call your higher self, they don't make mistakes, right, and that understanding that you belong to the step where you're at is a very important thing. To start humbly looking around and connecting the dots and really starting to investigate why those things happened for you right, especially the uncomfortable things. Right, especially the uncomfortable things. Right, because these events, these situations, they leave an imprint in our mind, in our subconscious mind, in your energetic imprint and also in our bodies, connected to conditionings, to protection mechanisms that are there for a reason, and this goes beyond Tantra. This is my understanding about the spirituality. The way I understand is we do choose, very well through a very complex system of resonance.
Speaker 2:Well, through a very complex system of resonance, the family, the place, the situation that we are going to incarnate in this life and we design no one else but ourselves from the sixth dimension. Design the perfect experiences, the perfect traumas that are going to place the red flags exactly where they should be, and the way you develop your own coping mechanisms towards those situations, which are there to protect you the majority of the times, are the ways that your soul needs to experience these, because those are the very lessons that you came here to learn in this life.
Speaker 2:So these are the perfect red flags. So the acceptance, the deep acceptance, comes from this stepping backward and starting to look at everything with curiosity, questioning why this happened for me, not to me, and then starting to analyze what are you playing in life, how are you behaving, what are your conditionings? Right, and this brings us to the second part of my definition of tantra, which is deep self-responsibility. Tantra which is deep self-responsibility. And what can you do? What are you ready to do to address, right, these aspects of yourself? Right, and it's not necessarily easy, because it involves taking the risk, taking a risk of doing something different. We are talking about survival mechanisms, so quite often there is going to be guilt, shame, fear, fear of rejection, all that involved, right, but it's only in really taking this responsibility for yourself and being brave enough to do it differently that you allow yourself to reach the ultimate freedom. I understand freedom as the gap between what triggers you and how you choose to act, not to react. Act not to react. And to me and this is part of the Tantric psychotherapy component that I offer, all this psychological, mental understanding, which to me specifically is extremely important because I am a very mental person. It doesn't make sense staying only in the metaphysics of the things and you know I need a more solid, clear ground explanation.
Speaker 2:And then the bodywork layer of what I do as well. The tantric bodywork addresses what I do as well. The Taintric body work addresses the somatic information that is recorded in the body. You know I used to say that the bunch of cables that connects the body with the parts of the brain where these programs are recorded is a much thicker one than the one that connects to the frontal cortex right, the rational part of the brain.
Speaker 2:So when you start to move energy and look at these aspects in your body, working together with kundalini, sexual energy, chi, life force, energy, as you want to call, which is the most powerful energy that exists in the universe, and you are really willing to allow yourself to open up, what I can offer is a safe space, right, I cannot force safety, but really trying to offer the best that I can for those people to feel safe and then open to vulnerability and allow that energy to move all this trauma, all this information from the body. This accelerates the process immensely and this isates the process immensely, and this is also the process that will start unblocking the channels in the body that don't allow you to feel, to feel emotions, to feel connection, the words around you and also pleasure Right.
Speaker 2:It's a whole process of dissociation and how these connects with the shamanic component that I offer. That I offer. There are things, there are blockages, there are aspects of these things that sometimes can only be accessed and transmuted or also need to be addressed in a spiritual level. And then there is a whole array of modalities that I offer within this shamanic component. Sometimes they can happen together with the body work, sometimes not. There are specific modalities that are purely spiritual and shamanic, other ones that can be mixed and it's beautiful. You know what I have been witnessing the capacity that people have when they are really open to change. You know, and to me this work makes a lot of sense because I have my personal path of healing from a chronic illness within this environment.
Speaker 1:I had wondered if you wanted to talk about that just so that. I guess listeners can get a sense of how these modalities, whether that's tantric psychotherapy or the body work or shamanism can help to heal, you know, wounds, whether they're physical, traumatic. Is that something that you're open to?
Speaker 2:discussing? Yeah, absolutely, I will share my personal, these specific parts of my personal journey. Because of lots of trauma, as majority of us right especially women have towards sexuality, the masculine beliefs about shame, religion and all that, I usually have a lot of blockages towards this. I used to have a lot of blockages towards this and I've suffered from chronic UTIs urinary tract infections severely throughout the majority of my life. I've had more than 140 UTIs it was out of these words, utis like it was out of these words and the amount of antibiotics that I had to take wasn't real.
Speaker 2:You know it was affecting my immune system in a severe way. I had many kidneys infections. I got to a point in my life where I was sure that I was going to die early. Where I was sure that I was going to die early and because of something related to this, because I had honestly tried everything from naturopaths to theta healing, reiki, meditations, psychedelics, breath work, you name it. Everything helped, right, everything helped. But reality is the infections were still there. Only the gap between them was a bit, you know longer, but they were there and it was like horrible being with someone and on the following, like just waiting on the following morning for that horrible burning sensation, and they were really bad.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it would follow intercourse, yeah, usually after sex, okay.
Speaker 2:Sometimes they would like very rarely. Sometimes they would like very rarely they would come after an extremely stressful situation as well, but usually related like connected to sex.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, I was receiving my third tantric massage from a male in full alignment. I had this massive emotional release, Like my whole body was shaking as if I was having a seizure because there was so much energy so much fear right the kidneys, the bladder is a lot about fear and it was my fear of sexuality very much and I was crying.
Speaker 2:But it was so intense and when these emotional releases happen during tantric massage you shouldn't try to rationalize them, to search for answers. You just feel it and I remember I was a bit out at the end of the session. The therapist was even thinking that he had done something wrong.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, okay.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, okay, right, he was quite anxious, he was amazing yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Bless him, yeah, bless him I think we've all had those moments, fully, fully. Yeah, okay, I'll bless him. Yeah, bless him, I think we've all had those moments Fully yeah.
Speaker 2:And I didn't connect straight away, but about a week after that, I could truly feel that something was different in my body, in my body, and when I connected, when I checked in, with that specific fear, that issue, that situation, I couldn't feel that frequency, that emotion, like it's even hard to put in words. It wasn't there anymore and I thought to myself I think I'm not going to have those infections anymore. Wow, and it has been like that, you know, which, personally, to me, is a miracle.
Speaker 2:I've had many miracles in my life. As you know, my birth name is Rita DeCasio. Because of that, because of the Catholic sense of the miracles, and it was amazing because I was even talking to this spiritual mentor after this and he said how perfect was your design to this life? Hey, like nothing like embodying the power of the healing in this modality. And I know that a lot of the issues that we have today and majority of people do have questions, trauma, a lot of things to heal connected to sexuality. You know, and I feel, yeah, very honored to be able to work with these, you know, and really keep a very aligned place. You know, very honored to be able to be in touch with such deep parts of human beings. You know, and even if it's with a tiny grain of sand, I truly feel that there is an impact, you know, in those people's lives and potentially in the world, because this frequency of sexuality needs love, needs to be looked at, needs to be held, needs to be transmuted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that the sacredness and spirituality of that kundalini and what can be deep sexual connection, even through tantra or through breath work, can be transformative right in the right hands. And yet when that energetically isn't held for whatever reason and there's some kind of trauma that someone experiences sexually or you know, in different ways. You know it can suddenly create blocks for people and I guess I'm curious, you know in your work, where do you recommend people to start?
Speaker 2:in this kind of tantric practice.
Speaker 2:With themselves, connection with themselves. You know, like I haven't came across a single person who doesn't have some level of dissociation, you know, which is the disconnection between the mind, the heart, the sex, the body. And this is a natural protection mechanism, right? And this is a natural protection mechanism, right, that we need to develop in order to be able to cope with a lot of things that happen with us throughout life. So when we stop feeling the body, we also stop feeling emotions. We start to number ourselves from the very human experience, the core of what it means being a human. So, I think, start with yourself, you know. Start touching our body, and I'm not even meaning in a sexual way. You know, start touching our arms with care and presence. If you want to start with your hands for a week, you know just how does it feel every millimeter of my hand to be touched in different ways.
Speaker 2:And now how it feels to be touched with weather and temperature and really starting to acknowledge again the body you know, to learn how to be present with what is, how to be present with what is, removing any fantasy or external stimuli from that experience, doing that with innocence, presence, devotion and curiosity, unlearning everything that you think that you learn about your body and yourself and really starting to connect from that place Because, matter of fact, you cannot ask from others what you not give to yourself. And the relationship that you have with your sexuality and your connection to self will unavoidably be always reflected in all areas of your life, because this is the energy of creation right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:So it starts by connecting with yourself, with your breath, with your touch, breath with your touch.
Speaker 2:You know like addressing. If you want to prepare the room, for example, treat yourself well, you don't need much. Put a candle, maybe an incense, music, have a nice treat, you know some comfortable sheets or blanket and educate. 10 minutes, start with 10 minutes, even 15 minutes a week, and observe the difference. It operates miracles. I am very annoying with my clients sometimes about the homework, you know, because from experience I've seen like the work with me is amazing. It's for sure makes a lot of difference. But what you do at home, by yourself, with yourself, is what sustains and keeps the embodiment and integration of what we do in the studio right. So, and it's the only way of changing their mentality about how to treat themselves too. And yeah, I see like the best people at homework, they improve like this. It's crazy, it surprises me a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love the emphasis on ritual and integration. Yeah, like when we treat things like a ritual or like a. I saw someone recently who said they romanticize their cup of coffee in the morning so they get really excited about it and choose a beautiful cup and sit down and really and I tend to do that with my cacao in- the morning I'll try and create some kind of ritual around it so that that's, like you know, something sacred and just about me, and I often do this with baths and candles and music.
Speaker 1:And I think that is kind of like the transformative aspect and the integration part.
Speaker 1:And what I notice in my own work is that people really struggle with integration. They can learn a lot, you know, because that's cognitive right. We can learn a lot, we can have that experience, we can cognize about that experience, we can think about it. And yet there's something where there's some kind of like barrier that comes in around integration. Like what are your thoughts about? What causes that? You know, that difficulty in people to really move something from knowledge to practice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that also goes back to the beginning of the conversation of Tantra. Like life is a ceremony, every act is a ritual. You are the miracle. When I say you are the miracle, it's your choice. Reality around you is what it is. It's your choice to see it as mundane or as sacred as you choose it to be. And when you start changing your perspective, things do start changing around you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right, and to be very honest with you, I am someone who has a lot of difficulty with integration because I've always personally lived so much in my mind you know and learning, learning, learning, and sometimes I think this is a question of our society as well.
Speaker 2:You know the very masculine aspect of things, when you should always be doing more, learning, more you know, but there is no space to stop and allow yourself to actually do things, slowly and taking as long as you need to really integrate and embody those practices, those practices and also the like. Even when people look after their bodies nowadays, a lot of the times it's more because of an aesthetic perspective for themselves and for others than truly to feel good or to. You know, feel well and be well, and I think that's also part of what we've been training to you know, allowing you to just stop and and apply that into your life. Allow space, you don't need to learn more. You don't need to do more right now, Like just make sure that you've learned well, whatever was dropped to you until now. You know, the body is so frequently left aside.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah. Society, yeah yeah. Well, I guess in all of my experiences and my work with you, you know what really comes down to it at the end is really just the sacredness of the body and and the sacredness of respect for the body and autonomy of the body and, almost, like you know, a process of not only checking in with my thoughts but checking in with my body. What does my body want in this moment?
Speaker 1:Because I think you're right, we get so used to operating in this like fast cognitive way that it's like ultimately, we've lost ourselves, and I certainly had, I had certainly lost connection with my body for a whole range of reasons and you know, I guess, in working with you in my own, you know, shamanic meditation, I remember you saying to me oh but Mel, you know, part of this is really you know that it's just about letting yourself kind of just be and just start to learn from yourself and just slow down and just be present with whatever comes through and just really trusting in that information and not having to rush it or think about it.
Speaker 2:You know that kind of like curiosity and openness.
Speaker 1:They're like curiosity and openness, like for you, when people are stuck in that dissociative template and I mean, I even remember I was in Bali once and I could not relax. Like I could go and have a massage and relax, but I couldn't just be with myself and relax, like what do you think are really helpful tools for people who are stuck in that dissociation? So certainly like touching their body, but for people who maybe aren't even ready for that yet, is that when you think you know they might need to engage someone like yourself, or you know to really support that process of slowing down and building presence with their bodies.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, very much so. Because then, like it's the psychological components right, as you were describing the anxiety and the inability to be present, you know where that comes from, where that comes from from a mental point of view, where that comes from from a spiritual point of view in this life, or from your ancestors, or from past parallel lives. Right, sometimes a breakthrough through that understanding is necessarily to give allowance to someone to be able to even start the exercises of touching their bodies, because they are so far away.
Speaker 1:I agree with you.
Speaker 2:I've had a few weeks ago a client like that. He came initially for the Taintric massage and it was powerful and beautiful, but so much anxiety.
Speaker 2:You know so much inability to be present because it's an operation in fight and flight. You know there is so much fear, so much insecurity about what is going on now, what is going to happen next, all the things that you need to do during the day If, if, if and then during the shamanic meditation we were able to access, to go to the core. You know seeds of that situation and really start to look at everything, all the impact that that core situation was causing in his life. You know and have some very open, honest conversations about. You know the reality of his life at the moment and his capacity to change like it's. Change is never easy, right, it doesn't have to be a struggle either, but it will involve some effort from your end. But some changes realities whenever you decide to do them. It doesn't matter if it's now, in 10 years' time, in 10 lives. They are never going to be, easy.
Speaker 2:You are going to have to face fears in order to do that. However, in my experience, they are never as hard as we thought they would be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's amazing what anxiety can do you know to something in terms of how it can often describe it as like how your thoughts are telling you lies. You know about a situation and you get stuck in the thoughts rather than in you know all the possibility of what could go right. Yeah, why, how?
Speaker 1:and then that that can bridge people towards, I guess, making sense of things, being able to be more compassionate and gentle, you know, in terms of how they relate with themselves, to then open up that kind of slowness and that more self-capacity.
Speaker 2:Yes, is that right? Yes, very much. I've seen people to heal from a lifetime of anxiety in a single shamanic meditation.
Speaker 1:That's unreal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think this is the shadow work part that I do as well, because this is a shadowy part of you, that is being denied and from really sitting with that, you know, and having a nice chat and embracing it in your heart.
Speaker 2:Not, oh, I'm going to embrace this part of me, my heart and honoring and giving it as much space as it wants to take, from a different perspective, a daily basis, because the chain of change that is going to come from that healing will also take daily actions, daily conscious actions that you are going to be able to start taking, and so it's good to have that part of yourself being honored there, very present, and proud of that too, because a lot of people tend to self-punish themselves and no, there was a reason for that to be there, you know, and it's a beautiful learning, and this is the weaving of new possibilities. Right Then you can really be at a different place frequency-wise, and this way you can truly change your path from a destiny point of view.
Speaker 2:Changing yourself is by truly changing who you are and your frequency, and then, yeah, more possibilities start to open, because when you are creating, for example, from a place of anxiety, and fear. It's so narrow, you don't give space. We also just meet walls right Like anything that I've ever created from anxiety.
Speaker 1:It just doesn meet walls right. Like anything that I've ever created from anxiety, it just doesn't work right. My internal experience is that people feel that and I guess that's what you mean by frequency right, it's how your energy gets experienced in the world or with others. Is that what it means?
Speaker 2:It's one of the aspects for sure. Okay, for sure.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, for sure, okay. Is there any other kind of ways that you would describe like your frequency or your energy for the audience? Perhaps they're not familiar with that terminology.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, Thanks for that. This is very much about quantum physics, right? You don't manifest what you want, you manifest who you are, right. So, yes, people definitely feel that, even if it's not from a conscious place, they will have energetic dynamics with you. And I'm going to give you an example, right about abuse, Such a common frequency that we have in like out of balance inside of us. With abuse, we keep sweeping Like. Imagine any frequency, right, A relationship with money, or a relationship with love, with work. They are all frequencies that we have in our human equalizer per se, that we are learning about. So you have abuse we are learning about. So you have abuse.
Speaker 2:If you are a person that suffered abuse, rest assured that this is one of the extremities of the pendulum, and you are and you were, and you will keep oscillating between these two extremities if you don't do something about it. I know this can be confronting, but there are no mistakes. Like I am someone who who've endured a lot of abuse physical, psychological since I was very little, and I know that I have been an abuser as well, Not only in past lives, but even in this life, when I was out of balance, when power was given to me automatically. You sort of get into that position. Why? Because the abused person ultimately doesn't feel safe. They have such a deep level of unsafety inside themselves that the only way that they can feel safe is by abusing others and putting them in what they believe is a lower place, just so they are fine, right, it comes from a place of fear.
Speaker 2:So they are fine, right, it comes from a place of fear.
Speaker 2:The only medicine, the only medicine for abuse is love, including to learn how to love and understand your abusers Really, starting to be able to see them as wounded children, because if they were mature, if they were acting in consciousness, they would never be doing that, because they are, first and foremost, harming themselves.
Speaker 2:Right, and when you are in the frequency of a victim, of an abused person, matter of fact, what you will attract are abusers, being in your work relationships or your friendship relationships, your partner, romantic relationships. You know, obviously the signs of the abuser, of the perpetrator, will be there from the beginning, but you just cannot see, because your soul is materializing that as it should, because it's there to show you something that you must learn, you need to gain awareness about when you start really understanding these dynamics, healing yourself, allowing yourself from coming out from the place of victimization, because there are always secondary gains in every position that we decide assuming, and as a victim, you can be having secondary gains of receiving love and attention and care from others and all per se, and it's not necessarily easy to assume power in your life, to take that position when you don't even know what to do with it. You know it's a whole path to walk, but when you start healing that frequency, rest assured you are not going to materialize abusers in your life anymore. Makes sense.
Speaker 1:Awfully and I it was really interesting. I think the first time you described this to me was during my meditation and I remember thinking, oh, that's a really different perspective and really interesting, and I was really curious about it. And then I've been really thinking about it and I think you sent me a few like voice notes about it as well, just as we were talking about the podcast, and I think it started making more sense. And I can even and I often like to draw links to my knowledge of psychology. And you know we have, for example, cartman's Drama Triangle.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you're aware of it. It's the theory of maladaptive relationships, where there's an abuser, a victim and a perpetrator and people move into different positions in the triangle. And I was like, yes, yes, it's the same right, it's just an energetic, spiritual lens of the same force we talk about in Cartman's drama triangle, which is a psychoanalytic tool which is certainly more linked to the unconscious. Drama triangle, which is a psychoanalytic tool which is certainly more linked to the unconscious, which is, you know, also linked to the spiritual, the self. But yeah, I remembered thinking, oh, wow, isn't that, isn't that kind of a more loving way to consider, you know, our own shadows and often you know the thing that I reflect on resisting the most in myself are you know where?
Speaker 1:I've really hurt people and I've really been a perpetrator, you know, of abuse and it can still be hard to face that right. And yet you know, I think about I had an interview for a very high-powered government job and I had to be vetted for it and I didn't get the job. And the reason I didn't get the job was because you know, she was grilling me on these shadow parts, yeah, you know. And and I and I honestly couldn't take it, I got too anxious and and I really understand why she didn't give me that job, because really she would have thought she hasn't faced her shit yet you know, she's not willing to own up to the parts of herself that you know have hurt people have
Speaker 1:have have been abusive and I think and I think this is like at this point in my life now I feel like if I had an interview like that, I think it would be really hard for someone to do that with me, to rattle me in that way, and that's really powerful, like when you get to that point where I don't know there's any thing more that I'm conscious of. I'm sure there's a lot that I'm unconscious of. I'm sure there's a lot that I'm unconscious of right that I'm conscious of that someone could bring up to me that I haven't already at least looked at in some kind of way. And I just think that is fucking transforming, like when you can see yourself in all your complexity and all your hurt parts and you know guilty parts and just hold them in tenderness and almost like I think Megan, who was on the podcast a few weeks ago, would have said like can you hold those parts in your care and love them and hug them?
Speaker 2:Mel, thank you so much for this sharing so deep and vulnerable. I really want to appreciate that. I love that. Yeah, there is always more, I guess, and that's the fun of life, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah it's infinite. Yeah, it's infinite. It's our dynamics and I guess the way that we allow ourselves to feel, to go deeper, to really be open to whatever life presents to you doesn't matter if it's the most exciting thing or if it's a tragedy, understanding that there is a reason for everything. And I'm gonna feel it. I'm gonna feel it all because I have the capacity for that and in that I going to find the seed the precious message of whatever is presented, to learn a little bit more and go a little bit deeper.
Speaker 2:and going a little bit deeper automatically From these roots that happen in the shadow work, automatically expanding in light. Otherwise, if you keep only working in light expansion, light expansion, it will collapse. There's no structure, it's the yin-yang. You know, especially with modern religion. You know the way that Christianity was translated and especially Catholicism. The shadow work was demonized as if it was wrong, while to my understanding, god is as much light as its darkness. Creation only happens in the darkness. You know, the womb is dark In the earth where the seed grows is dark. Inside the chrysalis is dark, right. So if we look at nature, the messages are there and I love that. There will be always more layer to be discovered. It's fun.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I could talk to you all day, as you know, and I always want to learn from you, and I'm really excited because hopefully in the future I'll get to do some more training and some more workshops and some more meditations with you. But for the audience. If they want to work with you, how can they find out more about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, my website is a good place to go. My social media is a bit abandoned.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:I keep promising myself that I'm going to change that. Okay, yes and yeah, get in touch, send me an email, send me a message on my phone. Let's have a chat. I always like talking on the phone before to see if we are suitable for each other. You know, I might not be the best therapist for that person?
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome, awesome. That person yeah, awesome, awesome. Um, and having, I guess, experienced, you know your offerings myself, I can really attest to um your thoughtfulness and professionalism and dedication to your practice, so I highly recommend um later's work to you all, um. I'll also put some links to your website, um and instagram in the bio below. Is there anything else that you want to leave the? Audience with before we finish up yeah, two things.
Speaker 2:The first one be present, you know, be present at the present moment. Try not to suffer much about things from the past, not worry about the future. You know, let go of the steering wheel.
Speaker 1:It was never attached to the car anyway so it's nice to have the fantasy, though, right so really be present and, yeah, drop into your body.
Speaker 2:To your yeses and your no's, the answers are in the body more than in the mind, and from that place of honoring what you feel you know, changing this factor in the equation will certainly bring some interesting results to that.
Speaker 1:Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on. I love to connect with you. You're just the most gorgeous person and I met Radar at like a business um breakfast I don't know um with a fantastic photographer, amanda um our photographer yeah, she's brilliant we love her, um and yeah, and I met you and I was just like fuck I need to work with, like you're just fucking unreal and your energy and everything about you.
Speaker 1:I was just very curious and so I hope you can feel Rita's energy in this podcast and if you can't, I really recommend just meeting her, because there's something really special about you and about your capacity to hold space for people to find that capacity within themselves.
Speaker 2:Thank you Pleasure my heart, body and soul. So, so grateful to have connected with you for many reasons.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Can't wait to work with you again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and thank you for joining us on the Place for Connection podcast. I'll see you soon.
