The Place for Connection

Living Life on Your Own Timeline with Ash Cam

• Melissa Beaton

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Ash Cam, founder of Reset Workplace and Reset podcast host, guides us through the liberating journey of creating our own timelines instead of following society's prescribed milestones. Through her personal story of moving overseas at 30, leading global teams, and now expecting her first baby at 36, she offers wisdom on living life authentically on your terms.

• Creating self-trust by exercising that "muscle" repeatedly through life decisions
• How Ash and her partner consciously prepared for two years before conceiving 
• Reframing feelings of being "behind" by focusing on areas of abundance in your life
• Using jealousy as a green flag to identify what you truly want
• The power of intentionally disconnecting from daily routines to gain clarity
• Finding support through motherhood mentors who demonstrate career and personal growth after children
• Creating reset moments through nature, phone-free walks, and retreats
• Using the wisdom of your 90-year-old self as a guiding light for decisions

For more from Ash, find her on Instagram or listen to the Reset podcast which releases new episodes every Tuesday or check out her website & instagram here:

https://www.resetworkplace.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/reset___podcast/

And if you enjoyed the episode, remember to share it with your friends, like, comment & subscribe - this is how the podcast is shared with more incredible humans, just like you! 

With love,

Melly.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Place for Connection podcast, where I chat to experts who have lived and now help other people to connect with themselves, others and what truly matters, through honest conversations about healing, growth and living a life that actually feels good. And today's episode is for every woman who's ever worried about being behind, so behind in career, behind in motherhood, or just ticking all of those invisible boxes that somehow we'd agreed that we'd be judged by. And I'm joined by someone who I couldn't think of who could be better to speak on this but Ash Kam. So welcome, hi. Thank you so much, mel.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, ash is the founder of Reset Workplace and host of the Reset podcast. She's flipping the script on what it means to live life on your own terms, so it's perfect, you know, to speak on this topic. It's what she lives and teaches. So, in your retreats, in your work and in every conversation that you share, asha spent years leading global teams across 12 countries yes, 12. And now helps high-performing humans create lives that actually feel good, not only look good on paper. Her podcast sits at the top 10% that's right, top 10% worldwide and, honestly, when I listened to it, it just feels like a giant group chat that you'd kind of speak about with your friends, and I guess your guests are there to help women figure it all out. So things like careers, motherhood, identity, burnout, all the big stuff.

Speaker 1:

I hear you're also a meditation teacher, I am. What kind of makes sense, because you're pretty grounding, yeah. So this conversation is like for anyone who's ever just craved permission to go your own way, do your own thing. Have that grounded presence, yeah, yeah. So I'm wondering if we could perhaps just start with you speaking to. I guess you built this platform around this idea of resetting so that we don't have to just do what we've always done. We can actually change our mind and decide to do something different, like what was your big reset moment that had you creating all of these opportunities?

Speaker 2:

Good question, and thank you for such a lovely introduction, mel. That was beautiful. No, no, this is.

Speaker 2:

These are all topics that I'm really passionate about talking about, and I think that I have had a number of kind of reset moments at different points in my life. I suppose a really big one came when I turned 30, which I'm 36 now for everyone's context but I realized that I hadn't ever fulfilled one of my dreams to move overseas and live and work overseas, and I didn't want to just do it when I was 18 and a backpacker and have you know, a backpacker's budget to do things. I wanted to be able to live and work and travel and sort of not compromise on the lifestyle. So when I turned 30, my partner and I were living a very traditional kind of timeline, bought a house. We were starting to think about do we want kids, do we want this? And then an opportunity came up to reset and throw all that up in the air and move overseas to London with work, and so that was a big moment for me. And then it allowed me to, like you said, live and work in 12 different countries, based out of London, but traveling the world, um, and then, I suppose a more recent one is moving back to Australia and building a whole new chapter in the season around having kids and having kids later in life.

Speaker 2:

So I'm 36 and I'm having my first baby in two years time and honestly I do not think like I feel like a teen mom and I love that. Yeah, I do not think I would have been ready in my 20s and we were talking about before this that I've got some really kind of some episodes lately on the podcast that are really hitting home with women in that sort of these and 30s space and feeling all of society's pressures to hit these traditional milestones by a certain age. And I think, firstly, so many of us don't even pause to think, well, do I even want those traditional milestones? And then, secondly, if I do want them, how do I do it on my own timeline, not the one I've kind of been brainwashed into having? And, yeah, the feedback on one of the recent episodes which we titled you're not behind, has just literally blown up on tiktok over 600 000 people have viewed it and 12 000 have shared it with their friends, and it's just getting all this conversation around, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you because I was feeling behind, I mean my late 20s, which me now, looking back on late 20s, is like you're such a baby, oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, but we know what it was like, yeah, to be that age and just feel like, oh my god, I might be where I wanted in my career, but I maybe I haven't got the house yet, or I haven't got the perfect partner, or not ready for kids, or I'm still craving travel, and so I love just empowering women to throw it up in the air and be like well, who cares? What do you actually want to do in this season of your life?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's unreal, right, I think I even look back at myself. I had my first son when I was 25.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I just think, oh my gosh, I was so wildly immature and I knew that consciously as well at the time and then I had my second baby, like at not a dissimilar age to you, right, I was like 38, and so I was, like a geriatric, pregnant yeah, that term gets through the land and I'm like gosh geriatric so cringe.

Speaker 1:

It's like somehow we relate to ourselves and like I'm a pretty healthy person, like I didn't have any risk factors and even my ob-gyn was like oh you know it's. It's so strange that we relate to women as like, as though they can't conceive or carry healthy babies right. So I guess we also battle with the medical kind of ideologies around that. What do you think it is that that you've cultivated in you that's enabled you to trust in your capacity to make decisions based on your own timeline? How's that come about in you? Good question.

Speaker 2:

I guess, yeah, I've always had this kind of inner knowing and sort of self-confidence, maybe slightly delusional at times, that everything is going to work out. And then I feel like you compare that with people that you know that have the opposite viewpoint to the world of just then. I feel like you compare that with people that you know that have the opposite viewpoint to the world of just my luck, or, of course, that didn't work out. Very interesting when you have the bitty of time to see how much of a self-fulfilling prophecy that inner dialogue can be. And I think the more and more times you exercise that self-trust muscle and then things do work out, it just gets stronger and stronger and life seems to feel a little bit lucky. But we create that luck right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I often teach people the idea of positive goals that if we have positive goals right, our actions tend to approximate towards what we're considering, what we're thinking about. So long as it's kind of to the positive, then we tend to move in a forward momentum. It sounds like you're kind of just natural in terms of your capacity to do that which is unreal, and it sounds like that's also helped equip you with skills to support other people to do the same. Like we're living in a current kind of society where the average age for buying a home in Australia is like in your thirties having I remember you talking about this on your own episode like what about these shifting timelines played into your own decision to kind of have a baby at this age? What, how did you come about that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think it kind of came about quite organically.

Speaker 2:

So I had my partner on the podcast recently, which was beautiful for him to share his side as well and we complement each other quite well that he's more grounded and loves routine and stability and he would have been ready for kids in our late 20s for sure.

Speaker 2:

But, as you and I know, it impacts the female in our careers so much more than the males, regardless of how far we've come as a society Like, we just can't avoid that.

Speaker 2:

And so he was very understanding that children were on the cards for me and for us, but it just had too many things that I wanted to achieve as an individual before that point and I think in hindsight I'm so glad that it's worked out the way that it did and I want to acknowledge the privilege of my health and that it was possible and I didn't go into this blindly, but it was a very conscious decision of okay, if we're having children, we need the right kind of environment to raise them.

Speaker 2:

I'll do all the proactive steps for my health and well-being and my mindset to make sure that I'm setting myself up for success when it comes to trying to conceive and I've worked with an amazing team to make sure that that was as smooth as possible. And, yeah, it feels right and I'm thankful that things worked out the way they did. But I know that that's not the reality for everyone and for anyone listening that is struggling to conceive. There is a lot of support out there, but yeah, I do feel for them as well yeah, yeah, and I guess that's kind of part of that.

Speaker 1:

The timeline thing right is is this kind of messaging that we tend to receive around conceiving and risks of conception late right? And and I guess I also want to put it out there that for any women who, like you, consciously decided to have children, you know, in their 30s and then having difficulty with conceiving, like that's not your fault, it's not as though you've done something wrong, this isn't you know, something you've created, because I think sometimes women can shame and blame themselves as well when that kind of situation arises, which, yeah, it can be really painful to see, I guess, as an observer yeah like in terms of your own understanding about, yeah, that process of, of, I guess, shifting your priority, because I remember talking to you, we happened to just meet, you know in passing, which was actually quite fortuitous, and I believe everything happens for a reason in my life

Speaker 1:

um, so I'm like I obviously have something to learn from Ash, right, like every person who passes me is like a learning opportunity for me. That's how my brain works, so so I'm like wondering how has this decision affected you? Because, because you were kind of talking about taking a back step in your career and being more kind of present for yourself over the period of your pregnancy Like how has that felt for you to consciously do that in terms of having a really successful career?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So it was a big decision that my partner and I made as a team when we were still in London and we were looking at okay, my current career had me flying to a different country every second week. I would be working with international teams, so the time zones and the meetings and things would just really be stretching me, and I'm one of those people that are very prone to going all in with whatever I'm doing but that can lead to burnout, which it did several times. And so we had to make a decision of that particular career path and lifestyle was not conducive, of children Like neither of us could see babies coming into that world, and so we made a decision of well, if we're going to do this and if it's best for our family, then we need a complete environment and lifestyle shift. And so we didn't want to move to another city because we would be comparing against London, and so we actually chose to move to the Gold Coast, which we'd never lived here before, but we thought it's the right mix of beach and nature and enough going on, and we're so pleasantly surprised with how much we love being here.

Speaker 2:

But it has meant a total shift for me in Korea and slowing down, and I still do things that really light me up and change a lot of lives, like you mentioned the retreats and the workshops and supporting corporate teams and the podcasts. I still do that, but in comparison to what my work life looked like before, it's so different and it took a while to adjust, honestly, and I felt like, am I not being productive enough? Am I not doing enough? But I think it took two years to mentally and physically get to a space, two years of living here and living this different version of my life to actually be able to bring a child into the world. And so, while the actual act of trying to conceive was very fast, I think it was a two year journey of just really resetting my entire nervous system and my mind and my body.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, it's like did it happen really quickly or was it a two year journey?

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, it sounds like you and your partner were really deliberately creating an environment to foster you, right? So it's such that you can carry a baby and be in a position for that baby to form its own nervous system in a safe and I guess you know.

Speaker 1:

Again, it's kind of a privilege, right To have safety and security to be able to do that, but also that this is something that for people who do have that, that privilege that they can consciously create for themselves. Yeah, yeah, in terms of, I guess, your own sense of like those identity shifts because I know I have a sense of how you would have operated historically, right, that all or nothing kind of like I'm all in because we can see that approach still to your podcast and to your retreats, like you suddenly create, you know, beautiful experiences for people in terms of what you do, and that requires a lot of diligent hard work. Like what is this required in terms of your own identity shifts and how you see yourself in the world?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so this, you mean the pregnancy season that I'm in and the shifts, yeah, yeah, it's. It's really required me to reframe how I see, like, what my goals are during this season. Yeah, and so my goals? And I'm still get uncomfortable with it. Sometimes I still feel like, oh, do I miss a bit of that toxic productivity and that like, and, being fully honest, yes, some days I do, some days I'm like, oh, I just wish I was. I was working till 10pm at night on this project. But I have reset the goals and I'm like, no, that can come again in the future, if I really choose for it to come again in the future.

Speaker 2:

But right now, my job and my core goals are just to create a healthy environment for this little baby girl to be grown, be grown in. And the more I read and the more I learn, it's like, okay, well, I'm not just impacting her mind and body and nervous system, it's also the next generation if she chooses to have kids. So her eggs are forming already as well. So it's like, okay, this is my priority right now. These sort of nine, ten months, just like as as well as I can just be chill, nourish her, nourish me, like and that's the most important thing, yeah, and I like that emphasis on as much as I can.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because we're also not perfect and we're not perfect beings and we will get stressed and anxious, right, and it's just meeting ourselves in our current season and having love and self compassion for, you know, those parts of ourselves that maybe, yeah, aren't aren't gonna always react perfectly or, you know, we are gonna have a stress reaction in our physiology. We might be doing all the things like in terms of your understanding about what's worked for you. What would your advice be to other women who are entering this season and considering kind of entering parenting in their 30s in terms of creating spaciousness for themselves to, I guess, introduce a baby into their bodies and give that baby the best chance of success?

Speaker 2:

yeah. So we went on a major my partner and I went on a major health kick and completely stopped drinking alcohol about 12 months before trying to conceive, really prioritized our sleep, really prioritized yoga and meditation and just like coming home to ourselves and grounding, and I think it was important that both of us went on that journey together. I know plenty of women will get all the blood work done and start to eat right, but it takes two to tango and if you are having a child with a partner, then I think approaching that as a team is really is really fun but also really important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I actually listened to your episode did you, the um, that the conception specialist I can't remember her name, but it was so interesting and I think what this also does is it not only prepares, um, like you know, the male sperm for reproduction, but what this also does is it has the male meeting the female in equal responsibility absolutely, which is like something that, as a psychologist, I have. A lot of clients come in and they're like oh, my partner's not, you know, pulling their weight, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like well, what is the consensus between the two of you around? You know parenting and how that looks, and have you guys had conscious conversations about that? So I think that what this does, it sounds like, is also creates a sense of responsibility in the male, like I'm 100% responsible also for this child and I'm 100% responsible also for the conception of this child right, and the health of that I remember her speaking to.

Speaker 1:

Like the placenta, like the sperm helps to create the placenta, and so, yeah, really inviting them to also take equal responsibility for you.

Speaker 2:

It sounds like you really have that with your partner yeah, beautiful, I'm very lucky, but it it doesn't happen by accident and, like you said, there are so many conversations for years in the lead up to this, and I think I'm fortunate in a way that I wasn't necessarily a born mother, so it wasn't my must have babies, like straight away.

Speaker 2:

That is my definition of success, and so I think we did have the beauty of a bit of time and some very honest conversations of life is already great, life is already full. If we're doing this, then it's going to need to add to our life, but we're doing it together. And, yeah, I remember for years I would say things to Alex, my partner, like well, where's the baby right now? Like if the baby was in our life you're at a festival or I'm at work or I'm this, so like where's the baby? Like it just physically be possible right now without making some major compromises. And so I think that really helped to like train both of us into understanding that some huge shifts would need to be made before she could enter our lives.

Speaker 1:

Such a good like question to ask, and I guess for each of you to ask one another too, like how do we see this fitting? What does it look like practically? Um, and I guess for listeners you know to really consider this in terms of preparing you and preparing your partner also for the changes that happen, because I think part of the issues that can happen in postnatal depression or postnatal anxiety right is not necessarily that I mean there are biological hormonal changes, yes, that we can support through nutrition, through sunlight, through all of these kinds of but. But also it's just like how present are support systems? How present is that food, train or you know, having these kind of really deliberate things put in place? Like have you considered things that you can put in place to support yourself, kind of once your baby arrives?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's been something that I've been hyper aware of. I have a lot of high achieving friends who have gone into motherhood and taken that high achieving approach and it doesn't work, and so I've had the beauty of learning from them that you cannot control this little human and every child is different and it can cause so much stress if you go into there seeking any form of perfection. And so I've been quite intentional, as you've noticed, that some of my podcast episodes are pulling together an army of experts around the mental, the physical, the nutrition, the postnatal depression, the mum guilt there's episodes touching on all of that. So I've really been trying to surround myself with just an army of experts.

Speaker 2:

But then, when it comes down to in real life and the practical support, we do have friends around us, but again, this is coming from a privileged place, but we understand that sometimes you need to pay for support in order to make it very clear and transactional and no guilt and no strings attached. So, looking at booking a cleaner in those early days, looking at paying for meal delivery and things like that, just so that we're kind of setting ourselves up where possible for success and like we've been, as, as you know, we've been planning for this for a long time. We've been planning for this for a long time and I think all these things, hopefully, are investments that are going to make it just that tiny bit easier. But going into it knowing that perfection doesn't exist and I just need to like flow and be, be a little bit adaptable.

Speaker 1:

But if we do this episode again in six months time, I'll be like, oh my god, mel, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm a, you know, I think sometimes, I think, as long as we're willing to encounter our mixed feelings, like towards motherhood, towards a baby because I think often the biggest issue is like we we distance from our angry feelings or our, you know, our less like kind of idealistic feelings, when it's okay to like have mixed feelings, and I think, so long as we're comfortable with that, that not everything's going to be perfect and not everything's going to feel like sunshine and rainbows, then I think, you know, at least in my own experience and from what I've seen of hundreds of clients I've worked with through this season, is that I don't think it needs to be, you know, too hard either, and that's not to say I think it's completely different if you have a complicated delivery or your child, you know, has serious issues upon birth.

Speaker 1:

You know, I think they're different. But as long as you have a healthy baby and a healthy delivery, then yeah, I don't think it needs to be hard. It's just like, how comfortable can we be with our own mixed feelings, our own, you know? Yeah, because I also came from particularly before my first son came from a kind of role where I was just working nonstop and I didn't really, you know, stop and take note of myself, and I also wasn't old enough to really know that about myself yet.

Speaker 1:

So I think that part of my issue was like a lot of kind of professionals who are like oh, who is this new version of me, right where it sounds like you've actually spent two years kind of becoming accustomed with, with this side of yourself. Like in terms of that, what have you found out about yourself in that journey, like as you've quietened that kind of more corporate career?

Speaker 2:

focus. Yeah, it's been very interesting and ever since falling pregnant, I've already noticed a shift and I know you've told me so many women have told me, when you do birth a baby, you're not just birthing another child, you're birthing a new version of yourself and I've already felt her coming and it's interesting. Like I said, sometimes I miss a bit of that hustle, but most days I'm like you know what I feel very grounded, very calm, very content, like I can already feel my priorities shifting and it's, it's interesting. So I'm excited to meet Ash 2.0 at the end of August.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, she's, there's definitely some shifts already happening yeah, and I think that naturally happens right throughout the pregnancy journey.

Speaker 1:

There's this fabulous book I'll have to find it for you, but it but it actually speaks to a lot of these kind of unconscious processes that just occur in us, in in the, in the process of motherhood and also for our babies, and like just how aware they are even in utero and of, like, what's going on and and how they're feeling, what we feel, and how that builds their own neuronal kind of structures and stuff. So it's really cool and it's just, yeah, I love being a mom and I think it's just such a gift. But also like it's a mixed experience, right, and that's also okay. Sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, would you just be quiet and go the hell to sleep so that I can have some space and time for me. But you know, we're all different too. Like for anyone who's listening and thinks that they're behind, so maybe they're not a parent yet, they don't own their own home or they're feeling lost. What would you say to them about starting to reclaim their own timeline?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, it's tricky. First of all, I want to give them a big hug because that feeling sucks, and I think it's common for anyone who's driven and high, achieving and cares about their life that they're going to feel behind. It's very normal. They're going to feel behind in some area of their life, but I find we often tend to look at the area that we're lacking and we can forget to look at all the areas that were in total abundance, and so maybe you don't have the house yet or the baby, and there might be things that you want in your future. You don't have the house yet, or the baby, and there might be things that you want in your future. You don't need to have them, by the way, but I'd love to just challenge to look for the good and have you absolutely dominated and loved your career? Have you run marathons and you've really prioritized your fitness? And how cool is that? Because when you're 90, you're not going to be able to do those things easily. Have you traveled the world and seen and lived and experienced and danced? And I, yeah, I would just challenge them to look at okay, well, maybe you don't have these, but what do you have and what can we be grateful for, before looking at like, well, what's next?

Speaker 2:

For me, and I find that sometimes social media it's a double edged sword. But if we're scrolling and we're constantly seeing things that kind of trigger us and make us feel like we're behind, I don't think that that's inherently a bad thing. I think what it can do is be a moment to pause and reflect and ask like, okay, is that actually just a big green flag? If that's something I should run towards, and if yes, then how do I shift some of my priorities and where I'm putting energy into to move in that direction, if that makes sense, yeah, yeah, absolutely so, seeing because I guess I tend to think of, like, for example, jealousy yeah, it's like a signal from the body of okay, that's something I want like.

Speaker 1:

I want something that that person has, so I would tend to reframe it similarly given that that's something that you want, what are the steps that you're willing to put in place to approach that goal or how could that, how could you move towards that in a way that's like accessible and so it sounds like helping people to like just to check in and what, what they need, to kind of work towards?

Speaker 2:

yeah, yeah, and I like that you said there what you're willing to do, because it's really easy to think that you know I want this version of success that someone else has, but are you willing to do all that is required to get there? Like I know, I look at some incredible entrepreneurs and I think like their success is so tempting, but did they literally sacrifice 20 years of their life and their sleep and their health and their fun to get to that point? And if I'm not willing to do exactly the same, then okay, I can be, I can admire their success, but does the jealousy stop then? Because I'm not jealous of the work it took to get there does that?

Speaker 2:

that kind of make sense, like just sort of stepping back and looking at the full picture.

Speaker 1:

I can, yeah, yeah, what would it actually take to create that? Because I guess often people can see like the glossiness, like even people might see like your podcast or your retreats, and see you know, creating, you know all of these opportunities for yourself and for other women, and I guess what they don't see is all like the blood, sweat and tears, you know, behind the surface or behind the scenes of you creating these opportunities for you too. Right, I guess it's like this in any season and if we're entering a season like motherhood, what are we willing to sacrifice? Yeah, because, because really, I think you hit the nail on the head like women's careers are affected, our superannuation balances are affected, you know, like, so, like, is there a sense that, either in the partnership, in the team, if, if you are partnered, is there a willingness to negotiate around finances, around how that looks, creating opportunities for yourself? Are you willing to sacrifice, you know, your career for whatever period of time? Because, because there's usually at least some period of sacrifice or, alternatively, are you willing to kind of use childcare? And I guess there's no right or wrong way to do it, right, it's just checking in with what you want.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's really helpful. You've created the Reset Workplace and the Reset Podcast, which are both absolutely incredible, and I think you should be so proud of everything that you've created. Given you've only been in Australia for a couple of years, especially on the Gold Coast, how does your experience in mentoring, cultivating like people to be self-observing, you know of themselves and to create real life kind of timeframes, rather than you know what you think people, what people should think they should be doing, rather, how does that shape how you now think about you know yourself in the workplace and the future of how you want to work yourself?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, good question. So I find that the reason I wanted to start running the retreats is because sort of multi-layered but when we're in our day-to-day life and the routine being in nature, eating nourishing foods, all those other good bits that come with it, but being able to step away, the physical removement of their day-to-day, just gives this perspective shift, unlike anything else, and it can happen in a day, it can happen in a weekend, it can happen in a week. But that is such a beautiful gift that I don't think we give ourselves enough, and you don't need to book a retreat to do this. I find that even kind of micro dosing on these things of you know, I'm just going to go for a phone free beach walk, can be sometimes enough to just like unplug from our autopilot. So I love that.

Speaker 2:

The other thing that I love is being around other people that are also open and willing to grow and change and shake things up.

Speaker 2:

I find our environment can be so contagious, and that's not just physical environment but that's the people and the inputs that we are feeding our mind with, and so bringing people together in a world that is increasingly disconnected, like spreading apart, is so, so cool and so inspiring, and so I guess I take those retreats as opportunities to kind of disconnect and reflect as well, and all of the self-reflection activities that my guests do on the retreat I take part.

Speaker 2:

The future letter, the letter to our future selves I write those, I read them three months later myself and it's like a time capsule of taking you back to retreat, mom. So, yeah, I I feel like I created experiences that younger me was craving and and it seems like a lot of other people are craving them too. And it's just so beautiful and special when people come to the retreats and the stuff that happens is insane. Like people will just gain so much clarity on, like you know what I'm moving to this country, or I'm quitting this job, or I'm starting this business, or I am ready for a baby, or just these big life shifts that feel so overwhelming when you're in that day-to-day autopilot rat race. But as soon as you like, step away and it can just all become clear.

Speaker 1:

Well, you have a presence about you that does create opportunity and it's hard to describe Like. I think there's just an energy about you that that's quite contagious and it's probably something that you just do. You know, you probably don't really even need to think about it, it's just kind of how you operate in the world.

Speaker 1:

But I think when we're around people like that, I think you're right, you know, in a retreat environment, or you know, perhaps when we're suddenly surrounded by other people who are like, okay, what's possible, rather than you know, focusing on all these kind of negatives which I think is quite common in Australian culture. I don't see it as much internationally, like when I've lived overseas and stuff, I haven't encountered it as much, but here I find that and less so on on the gold coast and maybe that's just my group of friends, probably not dissimilar to yours, where everyone's like, okay, where are the opportunities?

Speaker 1:

and what can you create and what's possible, right. But I've certainly also had the opposite, where people have like poo-pooed my dreams and said all the reasons why I shouldn't do things and and. So I think, yeah, when we can be surrounded by a community of people who believe in what's possible and believe in us and our goals, then we can create opportunities. It sounds like through your retreats, that that's an awesome way for women to kind of gain these insights and connect back to themselves and to their own wishes and wants outside of these like bullshit timelines, right yeah, for sure, and I think what you've said is really interesting how sometimes, being positive and being optimistic and seeing the cup half full, we can be branded as delusional, naive, like out of touch.

Speaker 2:

But the duality of both always exists in the world. And so it's quite easy to find the negatives because you know we have a natural negativity bias all the news we're fed is negative because it gets more clicks. And find the negatives because you know we have a natural negativity bias all the news we're fed is negative because it gets more clicks and news is a business. You know all that stuff exists. But that doesn't mean that we're naive or delusional for looking for the lighter side. At the same time and I think if we can be quite intentional about we acknowledge that this darkness exists in the world, but that doesn't mean we should ignore the light because it's so much more fun to live on that side.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and there's just so much more opportunity. And I agree, I think it's not about only seeing opportunity, it's acknowledging okay, like if I look at my own experience of building this current location you know it's not that that wasn't easy, right, I had to overcome a lot of financial issues location.

Speaker 1:

You know it's not that that wasn't easy. Right, I had to overcome a lot of financial issues. You know complexities in my relationship, operational problems. You know as a psychologist and support my clients to feel comfortable in like a big space. You know like there's a number of things that you overcome. But if I only thought about those things and I wouldn't have pursued it. Right, and it's so. It's thinking about things on balance, like on a balance. How am I going to feel? What will that look like? How might that translate to people? Is that worthwhile? Right? And when we can see that the benefits outweigh the cost? Or we have creationists around us who are like, yeah, fucking, do that that sounds awesome.

Speaker 1:

Then we're more likely to kind of pursue our goals. And from what I'm hearing, it sounds like that's like you. You're like the hype girl who, like, says to women yeah, if you want to do that, like, let's help you figure out. How Am I understanding that correctly?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. I've kind of got this, if not now, when, mantra and that nothing is certain in life anyway. So, failure not certain, success is not certain. But you can always pivot, learn, grow, let's do it for the plot, and we just keep adjusting as we go. So I know that friends will come to me when they uh, kind of on the fence about something and they know what they're gonna get. They know that they're gonna get this big boost of like, let's freaking go, which can be, yeah, a blessing and a curse at different times, I'm sure, but yeah, that's, that's who they get if they come to me and that's what you'll get. If you listen to my podcast or come to my retreats, like you'll, you'll feel brave and inspired, a little bit nervous, but just like, let's go. Life is short lean in.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, they often talk about anxiety and excitement feeling really similar too, right, but it can be hard to distinguish between the two, right? So can we be on that little growth curve of anxiety where we're uncomfortable, but not, you know, dysregulated, and just push ourselves to pursue our goals In terms of like things that still feel like pressure for you? Is there anything that's coming up for you as you're in that season that still feels like something where this timeline is still like kind of nagging you or harassing you that you just wish would like back off and move away?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I suppose there's still this ambitious side of me that is keen to keep growing the business and the podcast, and I do have a little bit of nervousness around what if I don't have the energy or the inspiration for that in the future, and so, especially if I'm sleep deprived and things but I've done quite a bit of work lately, like some self-work around, okay.

Speaker 2:

Well, what if, though, having a baby actually is your greatest source of inspiration ever? Having a baby actually is your greatest source of inspiration ever? What if she's an amazing sleeper? What if I feel more alive than ever? What if my business can be so much more successful because I'm a parent? So I'm just trying to make sure, like we were talking about before, just balancing that side of the input as well. So watch this space, but yeah, it's, it's exciting. It's exciting, and I'm trying to surround myself with mother mentors whether they're in my world or I follow them online or something but of women that are living proof of those exponential leaps that happen from a career and a self-love and impact perspective that happens after kids.

Speaker 1:

So that's who I'm looking towards well, I think we have a shared friend and I think she was on your podcast, shani Tim and I think she's a really good example of like a mum who's just like freaking, loving it and like having the best time ever, and so, yeah, I think when you've got people like that in your circle, like then you're going to have other women who are certainly going to support and love on you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I'm even thinking of, like Mel Hayes from Cocoon and Cradle is like an amazing person in that space in terms of helping women kind of be more intuitive and attuned, and so there's like so many amazing women in that space that I'm sure you've got plenty in your circle. Yeah, who can support that space? And I'm sure you've got plenty in your circle, yeah, who can support that process? If women want to work with you, how do they go about finding you, gaining access to your retreats or programs? And I imagine there might be a little pause on that in this season of motherhood, but yeah, if they still want to reach out to you and find out how to work with you, how does that?

Speaker 2:

look, yeah, of course. So yes, I've kind of hit pause. I did my last workshop last weekend, actually my last in person for the next few months, but I guess we can put links in the show notes to my Instagram and to the podcast and reset. The podcast does come out weekly and what it's intended to be is sort of the retreats of these magical, transformative experiences. But what can we do every Tuesday to sort of hit the reset button and learn a little bit more, take away a little bit of inspiration and shake up our lives on a weekly basis? So hopefully the podcast is enough to keep people going in the meantime until until retreats come back online towards the end of the year.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Okay, awesome, awesome, yes, and I will put links to your Instagram website and to the podcast in the notes In terms of anything that you'd really like listeners to know, above all else, like in terms of what could support their capacity to live like aligned, joyous and connected lives.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, good question. An activity I really like to do if I'm feeling a little bit of, if I'm feeling a little bit lost or needing some more clarity on what that next season looks like. I think, giving yourself permission to change as you grow through life. But then tapping into, what would the 90 year old version of me tell me to do right now, I feel like it just gives so much wisdom. It cuts through all the noise, it puts everything in perspective and just be like, what would she tell me to do right now? What would she recommend? And I don't know if it'll work for everyone, but for me personally I find like 90 year old Ash is such a guiding light for whatever I should be doing next. And she's she's a hype girl too. She's like, if not now, when, like go on the yacht, wear the bikini, like launch the business, ask the question, stretch your comfort zone, why not? Like, don't take life too seriously, just lean right in? So, yeah, amazing amazing.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Thank you so much for joining me on the place for connection podcast. Ashkem, you are a joyous beam of light, honestly like you, um, yeah, and and I don't know if you experience that, but yeah, for for me, it's been an absolute pleasure and privilege to have you on here. Time is our greatest resource. So, yeah, super grateful to you for for this, for this time, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Mel, thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

This has been a lot of fun and I'd love to have you back post birth to talk about how things have changed, if you'd like that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that'll be a really interesting conversation and we can revisit what future Ash would tell this present Ash. But no, I'm excited. I'm excited for that. So, mel, thank you again. I appreciate you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, I appreciate you too.

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